Feeling Lonely? How to enjoy the holiday season

Dec 3, 2019

It’s that time of year when everyone is celebrating. You look around you and see couples together in love. 

I want you to know I understand. I used to dread the holiday season and yet another year alone, wondering whether my special someone was ever going to come along to celebrate with. I would try to put on my smiling, happy face but underneath the ache and pain was always there. 

If you have suffered a toxic relationship or narcissistic abuse, the pain can be especially excruciating, as indeed it is in cases where we are not close or even in contact with family members.

At this time of year it’s the loneliness can feel crushing and the old limiting beliefs such as “Everyone gets love except me,” or “I’m not good enough” can really set in. 

Here are 5 things you can do to not only survive the holiday, but enjoy them too…

1. Be around uplifting, supportive people 

This time of year can be full of family gatherings. While this can be wonderful it can also be a challenge as family members are the best at pushing our buttons and of course, many of us don’t have the “happy fairy tale” family. Indeed we may not even be in contact with family.

Try to limit how much time you spend with people who don’t support you. Be around as many uplifting and nurturing people as you can. Make a list of all the supportive people in your life and start reaching out to them now. 

The good news is that you get to have whatever Christmas you would like – you can choose! So start planning your time and focusing your attention on making it uniquely yours with doing things you enjoy and being with people you love. 

If you are in the situation where you are spending Christmas on your own, special self-care and absolute loving kindness for yourself is paramount..keep reading.

2. Love yourself up 

Perhaps you are in a situation where you don’t have uplifting, supportive friends and family to spend time with. Whether or not you do, now is the time for self-care and deep kindness for yourself.

Warm, bubbly and relaxing baths, a wrapped gift for yourself, nutritious food, walks in nature and love notes under your pillow.

Tell yourself everything you would like others, including a partner, to tell you. Tell yourself how beautiful you are and how committed you are to yourself.

Indulge in as much kindness as possible towards your “little girl” within. Put a picture of yourself as a child by your bedside if you have one. Look into her eyes and tell her how much you love her often. If you don’t have a photo, draw a picture representing her with your name above it.

3. Be grateful 

Gratitude expands what you already have and opens up a space for more good things to come to you! 

Each day over the holidays, make a list before you go to bed of what you were grateful for that day. 

You can always find something to be grateful for so start with things like “good food,” “a warm bed” or “freedom” if need be. 

Make a list of the soul mates you already have. Soul mates are not just romantic partners. They are special people you have in your life and people you feel particularly connected to. It could be a child, a member of your family, a friend or a teacher or mentor either past or present. It could also be a pet or even a kind neighbor.

Be grateful for these special people and find a way to let them know through a kind word, a card or a gift. 

As you appreciate the soulmates in your life right now, you are opening up more space for more love in your life.

4. Give and Receive 

There is nothing like giving to others and those less fortunate to provide a new perspective. 

Seeing the smile on someone’s face when you have given them something from your heart is incredibly fulfilling. 

This is the time to give to those special people in your life. I’m also a great believer in spontaneous giving just because! No special reason or explanation needed. 

There are also plenty of great causes to donate your time to at this time of year. 

Who do you feel particularly called to help? 

Whether you donate your time, energy or money, find a cause that feels good to you. 

It’s also important to give from a place of fullness within yourself rather than depletion, and that you stay open to receiving. Be in the practice of gracefully receiving what others give to you.

5. Commit to your healing and thriving in life and love in 2o2o!

If you are serious about having a thriving life, including a fulfilling relationship, it’s time to invest in yourself and this part of your life. 

You can go for years dreaming, wishing, hoping and waiting for love. The real change occurs when you get serious about it and set about making a real commitment to transforming your love life forever. 

You do this by going inside, meeting and forming a connection with your “little you” inside. When you meet your wounded parts with complete devotion and kindness, free from trauma and knowing your own worth, you give out an energy that says “I love myself,” then life meets you and brings you more of what you desire.

Do let me know how I can support you and from my heart to yours, I wiish you a beautiful Christimas.


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