Valentines Day is fast approaching. If you’re single this may fill you with dread as you contemplate yet another year watching couples celebrating together wondering when your true love will come along.
But success in attracting true love can only happen from a place of joy and happiness within your self.
So what can you do to keep your joy flowing and your attractor power high so that your ideal Valentine finds you totally irresistible?
Below is your 14-day “Attract your Valentine” Boot Camp – a day-by-day, step-step guide that works from the inside out to attract your 2014 Valentine – and make him your very own Valentine for the rest of time!
Day 1: Write your own inspiring love-story
So, you have decided you want to find your ideal Valentine, your ideal partner and the love of your life. Firstly, you want to write about what you would like your partner and relationship to be like as far as you know now.
You want this to be so utterly compelling and inspiring to you that it keeps you going no matter what. It’s a bit like going to the gym to lose weight. First you set some goals about what you want your weight to be and how you will feel when you have it. This is what compels you to keep running, to keep lifting weights, to keep going, even though it may feel tough at times.
Your new story should be 10 out of 10 on the scale. It should inspire you so much that it’s worth doing what it takes to get there.
Here are some questions to get started on your new love-story:
What do you want to experience with a partner?
What sort of life would you like to have with a partner?
Do you create a home or a family?
Do you travel together?
Do you work together?
What qualities and attributes does your partner have?
How do you imagine it will feel when your love-story comes true?
Don’t sensor yourself. Allow yourself to write freely the things you may not even think are possible for you. There’s no right or wrong, just write what comes to you. Write what you feel and keep writing until it is utterly exciting and compelling to you.
Put your new story where you can see it and ready it every day to remind you of the amazing relationship you are working towards.
Day 2: Shift your mindset for your true love success
Now that you have written your new inspiring love-story, it’s time to shift your mindset to start making it come true!
Finding the love of your life requires a commitment to do the inner work necessary to attract your ideal partner.
So what does this mean? It means being ready and willing to look at the inner you and the inner obstacles to love, being willing to learn from past relationships, giving up blaming or shaming anyone or anything else for your situation and instead taking 100% responsibility to create the relationship you want and getting the support necessary to do this. It really means being willing to do whatever it takes to attract the love you want.
This may all sound like a lot of work but the good news is that most of the work is in you being and ready to do it! Once you are ready to go for it the rest can be easy and love can come your way amazingly quickly!
Answering the following questions will help get you into an ideal state from which to engage your boot camp exercises to begin attracting your Valentine now:
Are you ready and willing to do the inner work necessary to attract the love of your life?
Are you ready and willing to look at and change your beliefs about love?
Are you ready and willing to give up blaming and shaming anything or anyone else for your past or current situation?
Are you ready and willing to get the support you need if necessary to help you?
Are you ready and willing to do whatever it takes to attract the love of your life?
You may need to answer the questions more than once until you get a clear “Yes” to each one. However, now you’re ready to attract the true love of your life!
Day 3: Believe in yourself and others will too!
Today it is time to do some inward exploration to discover your hidden love barriers. It’s like being a loving and kind detective on your self!
Your thoughts and beliefs actually run your love life. So if you’re walking around thinking you’re not good enough or not lovable then you will probably keep attracting men who don’t think you are either. A confident, radiant woman who knows her worth is incredibly attractive to a quality man.
Ask yourself this:
What did you have to believe about yourself up until now to attract the partners and relationships you have had?
Really consider this. Write about it. You see if you don’t value yourself, don’t think you deserve love, don’t think you’re worth it or constantly tell yourself you’re not good enough, you will probably meet men who don’t treat you well, are not available to you and don’t value who you are.
Now ask yourself:
What would you have to believe about yourself to attract the partner and relationship you want?
It’s like magic! Men will reflect what you believe about yourself. When you know your own worth and are confident in who you are, you will attract a man who can’t wait to devote himself to you because he knows you’re a catch!
So start telling yourself what you would love your Valentine to tell you: that you’re beautiful, lovable and so worthy of love. Practice this every day and you will soon attract a man who finds you totally irresistible!
Day 4: Fall completely in love with yourself and all your perceived “flaws”
Do you think that you’re too old, too fat or not attractive enough to meet someone? Are you telling yourself that no one could ever love you because your hair is too frizzy, your stomach is too fat, your eyes are too small or you have too much cellulite?
Your true love will fall in love with YOU and will see these things as the quirky traits that make you who you are. The right person for you will love and accept the whole package. But you have to love and accept yourself first.
If you want to lose weight, do so because you love yourself so much that you want to be healthy and take care of yourself, rather than because you think no one will love you if you don’t.
Start seeing yourself in the way that your soul mate will see you – as a beautiful, radiant and lovable woman!
Get out your body lotion after your morning shower. As you smooth it on say: “I love myself, I love my body.” It may seem strange and unnatural at first but keep with it and you will soon start to believe it.
These things will help you start to give out a new energy that attracts a man who can’t wait to be around you!
Day 5: Make all of your relationships healthy
When you’re looking to attract a healthy, loving, committed and respectful relationship, you want to check that the people currently in your life are a good reflection of these qualities. A great way to prepare for attracting a quality man is to make sure you have quality people in your life already.
Make a list of all of the people in your life – this includes friends, family, colleagues etc.
Go through each one and write about the quality of the relationship.
Here are some questions to help you:
When you are with this person are you able to be yourself?
Do you feel supported and respected?
Do you find yourself saying “Yes” when you want to say “No?”
Do you find yourself doing things out of guilt or obligation?
Is there a healthy balance of giving and receiving in the relationship?
Look to see if there are any areas where you could be standing up for yourself more or setting a boundary. This is part of loving yourself and now is the time to practice in preparation for attracting a loving, fully available man who can’t wait to devote himself just to you!
Day 6: Move on from your ex-love to your amazing next love!
Are you still pining over an ex? Is there an ex in your life that you are calling a “friend” but you are secretly hoping that you will get back together?
When you want to attract new love but you are still thinking about an old love, you are putting out a confused love signal! It’s vital that you are freed up from any old loves so that your new love can come to you!
There are certainly times when partners do get back together after a split. But it is vital that the reason you split in the first place is resolved and that BOTH partners want to get back together and are committed to making the relationship work. Sadly more often than not, one partner wants to get back together and the other doesn’t meaning that one partner is calling the relationship a friendship when they are actually wanting more.
You may also have an ex-love who is no longer in your life, yet you still have feelings for him and secretly find yourself comparing him to new men you meet.
It’s time to be honest with yourself, let the old love go if necessary and get all the learning that you can from the experience so that you can carry it forward into your new relationship.
Answer these questions:
Is there an ex-love either currently in your life or from the past that you still have feelings for?
Is there someone you are calling a “friend” but secretly you wish you could get back together?
Were the reasons you split up resolved or do they still linger?
What did you learn from the experience?
What qualities would you like in your new partner that your ex didn’t have?
What can take forward into your next relationship?
Get clear of that old energy now, get all the learning that you can and move forward to the love of your life!
Day 7: Get clear on what you want and need from your ideal partner
Aligned or similar core life values and vision are what creates a solid foundation for a lasting relationship.
To find out your values answer these questions:
What are the things that are most important to you?
What are you totally committed to?
What are the things that you must have to be happy?
To find out your vision ask yourself:
What do you want to experience in life?
What do you want to create in your life?
Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 20 years?
Now make a list of the things you must have or need in a relationship.
To check that you really must have or need everything on your list, go though each one and say the statement “I would rather be along than be with someone who is not blank.”
For example: “I would rather be alone than be with someone who is not honest.” This tells you that you MUST have someone who is honest.
If however you have “Tall” or “A good dancer” on your list the statement becomes “I would rather be alone than be with someone who is not tall.” Or “not a good dancer.”
These are just examples but the point of the exercise is to get in touch with what you must absolutely have and what you need rather than things that would be a bonus. This is not to say that you can’t have these extra things you would like, but often times you may pass over great relationship opportunities because someone isn’t for example: tall enough, when in actual fact it isn’t what you need to make you happy.
Day 8: Put out your love-signal!
We are at the halfway point and in celebration of all the inner work you have been doing it’s time to start putting out your love signal!
One way you can put out this new love-signal is to write an Irresistible online dating profile and put it up on a dating site. This is like a signal that you are ready and available for love!
This kind of profile will eliminate the kinds of men you don’t want and only attract good matches for you.
You want your profile to state clearly and confidently who you are, what you need and what you’re looking for, while also being receptive, open, engaging and welcoming to another person.
Here are some tips:
· Write about your life-values and your life-vision
Shared life-values and life-vision are essential for lasting love so get clear on yours now.
· Use sensory language
Describe how it feels to do the things you love and enjoy to give the reader an experience of you.
· Ask a friend to write about their experience of being your friend
Then use some of these elements in your profile. This gives the reader an insight into what it’s like to be in relationship with you.
· Know the top 3 things you MUST have for it to work
· Be honest!
Don’t lie about your age or use false photos! If you want children, state it clearly. If you don’t, state it clearly.
· Your Photos
Use photos that convey warmth, confidence and radiance.
Day 9: Be around uplifting, supportive people throughout your boot camp and beyond!
Ok, so now you have put your signal for love out there, you are going to continue practicing what you have been learning and focus on becoming the best and most delicious version of yourself to attract your delicious man!
When you’re on a mission to become your best you to attract love, it’s vital to surround yourself with positive people who uplift you and make you feel good.
Limit the time you spend with unsupportive people. Make sure you don’t engage in negative conversations for example: how men are all the same or love is impossible. These just keep you going in a downward spiral.
Tell friends you trust about your mission for love and ask for their support.
Taking everything you have learned, talk to them about the type of man you are looking for and what you need in a relationship. Then tell your friends that you’re open to meeting anyone they know who may be a good match.
Day 10: Live your best life to find your best love
Are you waiting for a man to come along before you really start living? Are there things you have put on hold until you meet someone?
When you are enjoying your life and doing things you love, you give out an energy that says: “I love myself and I love my life.” This will draw people to you, including your ideal partner.
When you do meet your true love, he’ll want to be a priority, but he won’t want the pressure of being your sole source of happiness 24/7!
Make a list of all the things you have been putting off. Start to get back in touch with the things you enjoy and the things you are passionate about. Take action – enroll in that class you have wanted to take. Go on that trip you’ve been thinking about. Then watch as love appears!
Day 11: Prepare your home and environment for your true love’s arrival!
Right now you are working to attract your 2014 Valentine – but what you really want is for him to be your Valentine forever right?
Part of attracting your long-term partner is looking at your home and environment. That’s not to say that your new love is going to move in with you right away or that you need to rush things before the time is right. Rather, what you are doing here is symbolic – by preparing yourself on every level, including your environment, you create an energy that says “I’m ready to receive my soul mate now!”
The idea is to create a feeling of “togetherness” in your home and to create a welcoming space for your true love, even if you don’t think you will continue to live where you are now once you meet him.
Here are some tips for preparing your home for your true love:
· Your Bedroom:
– Should be a warm, romantic space and not an office space
– Should be free of old love-letters or gifts from your exes
– Have a clear space on both sides of the bed (bed not pushed up against a wall)
– Have two bedside cabinets and lamps, one each side of the bed
· Create pairs of things: pairs of candles, a pair of night-lamps, a pair of coffee-mugs
· Clear out a drawer or cupboard to make some space for his belongings
· Put up a picture that represents something you would like you and your ideal partner to do together for example: walking on the beach hand in hand
· Get rid of any pictures, images or ornaments that represent “aloneness” and replace them with happy people together
Do these things to create a welcoming home for the love of your life now!
Day 12: Stop over-giving and start gracefully receiving like a queen
As women we are often very good at giving but not so good at receiving. Your natural instincts may be focused more on giving – to your children, your friends and the men you have had in your life! But when looking to attract your true love, it is vital to keep a healthy balance of giving and receiving in all of your relationships in preparation for receiving your soul mate and all he has to give to you. Your soul mate will want to treat you like the queen he knows you are!
Answer these questions:
Do you find it easier to give than to receive?
Do you find yourself saying “Yes” when you would like to say “No?”
Do you sometimes/often feel resentful that you don’t seem to get what you need?
Do you tend to detract from yourself and instead focus on others?
Do you sometimes/often feel depleted and exhausted, wondering when it’s your turn?
Start to look at your underlying motivations for giving. Whenever you are giving to be loved or approved of, you know you are on the wrong track. It’s vital to give from a place of being happy and full yourself first.
· Start to get in touch with the things that fill you up and make you feel happy for example: walking in nature, exercise, eating healthily, a relaxing massage. Make sure you give these things to yourself.
· Practice saying “No” when that is really what you mean
· Notice any negative motivations for giving such as: to be loved or approved of. Stop and make the choice to say what’s true for you
· Notice when you deflect attention away from yourself. Practice the art of gracefully receiving compliments and praise by simply smiling and saying “Thank you.”
Give to yourself first, then give to others and start receiving peoples words or gift into your heart – this will open up a space for your true love to come to you.
Day 13: Be your most irresistible self!
So you have been working towards becoming the very best and most delicious version of yourself to attract your true love. So instead of going out endlessly searching for love – you can actually allow love to come to you! You can attract love – like a magnet!
Here’s an exercise to unleash your attractor power even more:
Sit quietly and close your eyes. Make sure you are free from any distractions and don’t do this while your driving.
Imagine that your soul mate is already here. Try not to focus on a particular person from the past or present. Just do your best to imagine the feeling of being with this person
Answer these questions:
What does it feel like to be with your soul mate?
What is your life like with your ideal partner?
What does it taste like? Smell like?
What is like to touch and be touched and to feel safe?
What is like to laugh with him? Or to cry with him?
How would you spend the day with him?
Use all of your senses to make the scene come alive.
Now staying with this beautiful visualization of love and connection between you and your ideal partner, answer these questions:
What’s different about you in this visualization?
Do you have a strong sense of your own worth?
Are you confident and able to ask for the support you need?
Is your posture different? Are you wearing different clothes?
Really see all of the ways that you are different in this visualization.
The idea is to BE that person you see in your visualization right now! Write down what you see and start taking steps towards it. For example: if you see that you would be asking for what you need, start doing that now.
Practice this each day and you will soon find that people just want to be around you, including the man of your dreams!
Day 14: Practice, Practice, Practice and Watch love appear!
So, we have come to the end of your boot camp – although it’s not really the end as what we’ve been doing is setting you up for a whole new life with the love of your life!
It’s important to keep practicing everything you have learned. When you find those negative beliefs or voices appearing, go back to the relevant Step and do it again – remember these action steps and exercises should be a way of life. Just like when you lose weight you need to eat healthily to maintain it, here you need to incorporate what you have learned into your daily life to avoid the old patterns creeping back in.
Keep a copy of your notes and the action steps at hand and remember to surround yourself with people who believe in you.
Follow these steps and you will be sure to attract love all around you – including your 2014 Valentine and the love of your life.
Julie-Anne Shapiro is an International Love & Relationship Expert, Speaker and Founder of Magnetizing Love. She has helped thousands of women around the world to find and keep the love of their life through her private coaching (available via Skype or phone from anywhere in the world), dynamic live events and home study programs.
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